On Finding Myself in the Otrovert: The Gift of Not Belonging
For as long as I can remember, I’ve considered myself an introvert. Crowds drain me, small talk feels tedious, and my best moments come in quiet reflection or one-on-one connection. Yet, even as an introvert, I’ve noticed something curious about myself: I thrive in certain social roles. I can stand in front of a room as a supervisor, perform on stage, speak publicly, or act as a public spokesperson—and during those moments, I am fully alive, alert, energetic, and connected. And then, just as quickly, the spell ends. The crowd disperses, the meeting closes, the applause fades—and I retreat, grateful to return to solitude.
In his 2025 book The Gift of Not Belonging, psychiatrist Rami Kaminski introduces the term otrovert—derived from otro, meaning “other” in Spanish—to describe a distinct personality orientation not fully captured by the familiar introvert-extrovert spectrum. The term otrovert—someone who does not naturally seek belonging in groups but can engage deeply in chosen social roles—felt like a mirror held up to my life. Suddenly, behaviors (my own) I had quietly questioned or even felt confused about made perfect sense. I am not weird. I am not inconsistent. I am simply living according to a rhythm that doesn’t fit neatly into the current introvert-extrovert binary.
What struck me most is the sense of permission the concept offers. Kaminski reassures us that needing solitude after a social performance, or feeling no pull to merge with the collective, is not a flaw—it is simply part of who we are. The otrovert framework transforms what might have felt like contradiction into authenticity. It validates the ability to shine in public while remaining true to the inner self, to connect deeply on one-on-one terms without craving broader group identity.
This realization has been liberating. It encourages me to embrace the full scope of my personality: the performer, the leader, the speaker—but also the private thinker who thrives alone. It is a reminder that personality is not a straight line from introvert to extrovert. Sometimes the most genuine place is entirely its own space, a space that doesn’t need validation or conformity.
Reading Kaminski’s book, I felt reassured: I am normal, just as I am. I am encouraged to just be me—fully and unapologetically. And in a world that often measures value by how well everyone fits in, that sense of permission, of quiet acceptance, feels revolutionary.
Reflecting on Otrovert Tendencies
Kaminski’s concept of the otrovert isn’t just a label—it’s an invitation to people like me to notice our own rhythms, strengths, and boundaries. We might ask:
The gift of recognizing these traits is simple yet profound for the otrovert: we can step fully into the roles that matter to us, connect meaningfully with others, and still honor our own need for quiet, without guilt. It’s a call to just be ourselves, unapologetically, and to see our unique personalities as strengths rather than flaws.
Considering the Critiques: Is Otroversion Fully Accepted?
While Kaminski’s concept of the otrovert may resonate with many, it is still a new and emerging idea in psychology, and it has sparked some skepticism. Critics raise several points:
Final Thoughts
Being an otrovert—or simply recognizing otrovert tendencies within myself—is about embracing my authentic rhythm. It means engaging fully when I choose, retreating when I need, and trusting that this pattern is not only normal but a strength. In a culture that prizes belonging and conformity, Kaminski’s concept reminds me that there is profound value in being different. Sometimes, the greatest gift is not belonging, and the deepest freedom comes from simply being myself.
In his 2025 book The Gift of Not Belonging, psychiatrist Rami Kaminski introduces the term otrovert—derived from otro, meaning “other” in Spanish—to describe a distinct personality orientation not fully captured by the familiar introvert-extrovert spectrum. The term otrovert—someone who does not naturally seek belonging in groups but can engage deeply in chosen social roles—felt like a mirror held up to my life. Suddenly, behaviors (my own) I had quietly questioned or even felt confused about made perfect sense. I am not weird. I am not inconsistent. I am simply living according to a rhythm that doesn’t fit neatly into the current introvert-extrovert binary.
What struck me most is the sense of permission the concept offers. Kaminski reassures us that needing solitude after a social performance, or feeling no pull to merge with the collective, is not a flaw—it is simply part of who we are. The otrovert framework transforms what might have felt like contradiction into authenticity. It validates the ability to shine in public while remaining true to the inner self, to connect deeply on one-on-one terms without craving broader group identity.
This realization has been liberating. It encourages me to embrace the full scope of my personality: the performer, the leader, the speaker—but also the private thinker who thrives alone. It is a reminder that personality is not a straight line from introvert to extrovert. Sometimes the most genuine place is entirely its own space, a space that doesn’t need validation or conformity.
Reading Kaminski’s book, I felt reassured: I am normal, just as I am. I am encouraged to just be me—fully and unapologetically. And in a world that often measures value by how well everyone fits in, that sense of permission, of quiet acceptance, feels revolutionary.
Reflecting on Otrovert Tendencies
Kaminski’s concept of the otrovert isn’t just a label—it’s an invitation to people like me to notice our own rhythms, strengths, and boundaries. We might ask:
- Do I feel fully alive and engaged in certain social roles or performances, yet crave solitude immediately afterward?
- Do I connect deeply with individuals but struggle to merge with groups or collective identities?
- Have I felt tension between expectations to “fit in” and my own internal drive to act or engage on my own terms?
- Am I reassured when someone validates that my way of being is not only normal but valuable?
The gift of recognizing these traits is simple yet profound for the otrovert: we can step fully into the roles that matter to us, connect meaningfully with others, and still honor our own need for quiet, without guilt. It’s a call to just be ourselves, unapologetically, and to see our unique personalities as strengths rather than flaws.
Considering the Critiques: Is Otroversion Fully Accepted?
While Kaminski’s concept of the otrovert may resonate with many, it is still a new and emerging idea in psychology, and it has sparked some skepticism. Critics raise several points:
- Lack of empirical evidence: The framework is largely based on clinical observation and anecdotal experience rather than peer-reviewed research. Some psychologists caution that more studies are needed to validate otroversion as a distinct personality type.
- Overlap with introversion: Some argue that the traits described as otrovert could simply be a variation of introversion, expressed differently in specific social situations.
- Risk of over-labeling: Naming a personality type can be liberating, but it can also oversimplify the complexity of human behavior. Some fear that rigid categorization might unintentionally box people in or excuse personal growth challenges.
Final Thoughts
Being an otrovert—or simply recognizing otrovert tendencies within myself—is about embracing my authentic rhythm. It means engaging fully when I choose, retreating when I need, and trusting that this pattern is not only normal but a strength. In a culture that prizes belonging and conformity, Kaminski’s concept reminds me that there is profound value in being different. Sometimes, the greatest gift is not belonging, and the deepest freedom comes from simply being myself.